Have you ever been happy about something one day, and felt its complete opposite the next? No? Okay, because I do. And it’s surprisingly the most unexpected feeling. I never knew I’d be writing here about it, but here I am, sort of regretting, but also convincing myself that it’s for the better.
Well, I’m serving my notice period currently, and it’s my last day tomorrow, and honestly I’ve been wanting to leave since day 1, which of course, is really not cool, but I never got good vibes from this place, or even the people. But that’s normal; no new place would ever make you feel comfortable just like that, in the first go. You need to suit yourself to the environment, and make things work out for you. So I did. Made some friends, found motivation, started enjoying my work, and gathered enough confidence to face any kind of problem or situation with a smile on my face. Yes, there were times when almost everything around me was going against me, and I was on the verge of breaking down and giving up just like that, I was ready to walk out. And then I asked myself one simple question “Is this the same Tanya who writes about Positivity and motivates others to keep their hopes up, because good things always await the other side of the tunnel?” and that got me going. Yes, you can motivate yourself, you just need to keep your head up, and keep reminding yourself “You can do it, you can get through. Just smile, take a deep breath and fight your way into this world.”
Not that I literally “fought” my way out (that’s just to say), but it’s true that in a place like this, you can’t let short temperedness, ego or impatience take over. You need to be calm, and not react. The more you react, and the more you show how unhappy or dissatisfied you are, the more the others will take advantage of you, and step over you to move ahead. Be it anywhere, not just your workplace, there will be lots of cases where you’d probably want to give up and run away, but it’s self-belief and self-actualization that’s going to be your cure at times like this.
Today, being my second last day here, I’m slightly teary-eyed, because this place has given me a lot, taught me how to tackle situations, made me a stronger person, given me some good friends I can hold onto, introduced me to the kind of work I’d love to be associated with, in future, given me direction, and has also pushed me to be a better person who doesn’t need to react to unnecessary and irrelevant drama to get through life, but tackle them wisely and confidently to prove my worth, not just to others, but to myself as well, and the ability to accept things faster, than letting them hang around for no genuine reason.
There isn’t a single place on earth you’d dislike for too long. It’s a part of life to not like something or someone initially, but gradually ending up becoming a fan of that place or person later in life, because of the experiences involved. Always remember that if things go way too smoothly in your life for a long time, chances are that nothing is going right. There is a need of a couple of barriers you need to tackle, a couple of problems you need to find solutions to, a set of people to deal with, and a hundred situations to get through. Because without these, your life will be uneventful, boring, plain, and worthless. Challenges will add color, fun, memories, moments, experiences and lots of new learnings to your life. don’t fear taking risks.
Had I not stuck around that time when I felt like giving up, I wouldn’t have ever known the path I had to follow, I wouldn’t have known the right and mature way to tackle situations, and I might not have been able to write this article.
It’s the unexpected that changes our lives.
And here I am, about to start a new phase of my life in less than a month 🙂
Good Luck, buddy!
This post is for all those who have stopped believing in themselves. This post is for all those who have lost their way, and are trying to get back on track. This post is for all those who once loved themselves with all their heart, but gave up because life happened. This post is for all those who are just living their lives out of monotony and boredom.
I have one question to ask. Do you want to stay like that for good, or do you want to utilize that same time doing something you love, being with that someone special, forgiving the ones who hurt us, bringing a smile on your parents’ face, following your dreams and having the ability to differentiate between the right and the wrong, and never ever compromising on your happiness.
You might think all of the above stated, are easier said than done. Yes, maybe that’s true. But is that your goal in life, to not even give it a shot? Do you not want to even try, and take a chance, and at least see for yourself till what point you can reach.
What’s going to happen, max to max? You’ll fail. You’ll fall again. You’ll get disappointed. You’ll start cursing your luck. You’ll tell yourself you don’t believe in destiny. And that nothing good will ever happen to you. You’ll shut yourself completely. You’ll go back to doing what you were originally doing, and probably blame me for telling you to try. You’ll spend lesser time with friends and family, and more time with the boring life you’ve chosen for yourself. Or you’ll just entirely give up and never fall for this trap again. (Well, it’s not a trap, to be honest. It’s called a Push, which will be explained below)
So, what next? That’s it? Your motive in life is complete? Is this the reason behind your existence? You might feel you’re being cornered and bombarded with all these questions, and shouldn’t you be asking yourself all these questions and simultaneously finding your answers too?
You are one of those lucky people in this world who is able to read this, and comprehend. You’re one of those people, who has a legit qualification, a job in hand, a family, a life partner, a house, basic resources and other necessities. You have at least 3-4, out of the listed. There are a million out there who don’t even have one of these things. You know why? Because their destiny didn’t allow that. But there’s something they have, and you don’t. Ever wondered what that is? Well, they have a fight in them. They’re more courageous in life, and have a stronger will power, than you. They didn’t choose this life for themselves. But they have this fighting spirit in them, and if that flame ever blows off, they don’t give up, but instead figure ways out to light that fire again. And that is what we lack. Well, most of us.
Goals need to build like a fire. It starts as a flame consuming all you put into it and burns hotter and hotter the more you work at it. In simpler terms, this burning fire can be labelled as Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. And even if it takes a long time, don’t give up so soon. Enthusiasm is nothing more or less than faith in action. Not giving up immediately is way better than regretting later in future. Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you’re tremendously passionate about.
There’s a way to achieve this kind of enthusiasm, wherein you’re involved cent percent. And how do you do that. It doesn’t simply appear in your life, and drags you ahead in life. It’s something that you need to work upon in order to move upwards. And how will you work on it? It’s simple. You’ve first just got to throw away all the negativity from your life. All the things in your life that pull you back, or make you feel less like yourself. All the things you depend on to make yourself feel at peace with the real world. All the people who bring out your worst side and convince you to do things that go against your principles and values. Think about these few things and people. And ask yourself how any of it has helped you become a better person, so that you could overcome your mistakes and fears, and grow out of them to accomplish something in life. Yes, they might have helped you at that particular moment to forget whatsoever happened with you, but what then? Look at your current situation. Are you any better, or still the same? Do you see yourself doing well; do you see yourself smiling wider than the last time, do you think your life finally has a worth?
Mark my words, you’ll feel a sudden change letting go of all the negativity. Each morning, you’ll feel thankful and happy. Everything around you would seem even more beautiful. You’d suddenly feel a lot closer to your loved ones, and know why they exist in your life, and what role they’ve played, that they’re counted as your life jewels. You’d look at yourself in the mirror and feel a lot fresher and better. That feeling of having let go of negativity completely, will give you a reason to feel more positive. It’ll generate an internal push, which would make you do things, with a fresh mind and heart. Your way of talking would improve, your face would have a whole new charm, your actions would speak positivity out loud, and the result? It would be a lot more different from last time. Try.
It isn’t easy to suddenly let go of the negatives, and bring in the positives. A female bird takes several rounds to gather twigs, to build a nest for her offsprings. It takes days of hard work. But the end result? The offsprings have a nest that helps to insulate them from the cold. The bird has to fly through strong winds, and other various weather issues. Had the bird given up midway, there would have been several regrets. And that’s exactly what one needs to understand. There would be hardships, always. All you’ve got to do is, fight with yourself and focus on what makes you happy, what you want to achieve for yourself, and reach that level where you can have all that you want, and gift yourself ample reasons to smile. Trust me, my friend, when you’ll look back, your heart will be filled with joy, passion, enthusiasm, pride and so much positivity!
Go ahead, and give your life a shot! You don’t even know how long you’re in this world for. Seize each single day, and make the best of moments that you’ll remember for life. Give yourself a reason to smile, and make the right use of time, it’s way too precious, and wouldn’t wait for you. Keep pace with it, and focus! Believe in yourself, and enjoy each day like it’s your last.
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.”
Good luck, my friend.
I think there’s a part in each one of us that wants the impossible to happen, and that’s what surprises are.
There are times when we start telling ourselves we aren’t meant for the best things in the world, maybe because of our experience in the past. Those “best” things cross our minds as “temporary” and “unstable” because we start questioning its authenticity unknowingly. It’s not like we are becoming pessimistic in life, but yes for that particular time period, no doubt, we tend to repel all kinds of good things and people we come across, no matter how genuine they are.
It’s like our mind is playing all these games with us, to see how we tackle them, but that’s unfair right? What if we push away the real best, and regret later because of our fear? The fear being whatever happened with us in the past, anything or anyone related to it. Sometimes when you least expect it, good things knock at your door and before you even know it, you let the door open and let it in. isn’t that surprising? It’s a fact that when we have a bad experience, we usually learn from it and make sure we never get into it again or anywhere close. We refrain ourselves from saying and doing a lot of things, because of our fear of getting hurt again. But the truth is, sub consciously, we’re looking for something better, way better, no matter how much we tell the world that we’re never letting anything or anyone affect us again. Good will always happen. I believe the only thing that we really have control over is our attitude. If we focus on the positive things in our lives and learn how to cope with all the surprises, we will be happier.
Recently I observed something about myself I had been avoiding for a long time, because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise. Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized that pain is necessary to develop that coping mechanism, to begin with.
Things never go the way you expect them to. That’s both the joy and frustration in life. It’s always hard to find out that a person you once considered a great friend has completely turned their back on you. Life is full of surprises, some good and some bad. From my experience, bumping into bad ones never gets easier, but you learn to accept it, learn from it, and move on, because trust me when I say this, life is short, and you don’t want to be wasting it by regretting, and missing out on better things and people. It is imperative that you make the most of right now. The quicker you understand how valuable time is, the quicker you’ll stop wasting it. You’re wasting your time by trying to predict the future. Instead, focus on being the best person you can be right now.
So sometimes, unexpectedly, you meet someone you weren’t ever associated with earlier, but with time, the need for an association becomes unnecessary. The person you’ve been looking for will come into your life when you least expect it. There’s so much more to life, you realize, and there are so many more reasons to still look back and smile, because full stops are meant for endings, not for new beginnings. So if something or someone knocks at your door and makes you smile end to end without any reason, don’t let go because of something that happened in the past. Treat it as a blessing, treat it as your next chapter, and let the little little things make up for a beautiful story. It might just end up turning into a novel, you just never know.
Most people want to be circled by safety, not by the unexpected. The unexpected can take you out. But the unexpected can also take you over and change your life. Put a heart in your body where a stone used to be.
“A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before you know it, your window will look so clean you’d think it had been replaced with a new one.”
Sometimes an unexpected turn of events will leave you smiling, and when that happens, be appreciative and observant of the wonder that has been bestowed upon you. It is how you react when things don’t go your way that shapes your outlook on life and builds the strength within yourself to conquer the journey to success and happiness. The world works in mysterious ways. Sometimes things will turn out in your favor. But when they don’t, you just have to roll with it. Your life will not turn out as perfectly as you imagined. This doesn’t however, mean you can’t live a life full of joy and satisfaction.
Take advantage of the opportunities you are given and do not be afraid of risk. If a friend asks if you want to tag along somewhere, say yes. Who knows, you could have a great experience or even meet someone special. Don’t turn down an offer because you are afraid of how it will turn out. An unknown outcome heightens the thrill of the ride.
Expectations cause the stress of a situation to rise. If you are an optimist, you expect everything to go perfectly. This will make you worry about the endless ways something could go wrong. If you are more of a realist, you’ll expect everything to be worse than it actually will be. This will discourage you from even wanting to go through with the situation you’re so eagerly anticipating. In order to worry less, stop the expectation of any outcome, good or bad.
Life can be full of unexpected things, either happy or sad, but no matter what things may happen, just always keep a loving heart, a wise mind and a strong faith in you.
“If you put in little effort and expect big returns, you will be deeply disappointed. You don’t get apples by planting lemon seeds.”
I think most of us invest majority of our time in making efforts for the people who mean something to us, but at the same time, we also expect them to make similar efforts for us too. And honestly speaking, there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has certain kind of expectations, only because they have this belief that whatever they have done for others, they will definitely do the same too, at some point of time. But it’s also a fact that our disappointment, irritation, anger, sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined they would, so rather than looking down and focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble. Right?
When it comes to the simple act of giving, motives and mindset really matter. Many of us are unconsciously so self-centred that everything we do, even within our closest relationships, is actually bartering rather than unconditional giving. We all realize that giving on any level feels really good, but internally all forms of giving are not created equally. This is where motive comes in. When we give with the expectation of receiving something in return, we are not really giving with a pure motive. But when we give from a generous heart, the joy of giving becomes its own reward.
When you give generously, it opens up your heart to an enhanced sense of peace, love and joy. Because your motive is pure, your heart is free to experience giving at the highest level. This is an empowering mindset that fuels both giving and receiving because there is no resistance involved. But when you do something for someone out of high expectations, the end result is often disappointing. You put limits on the ways that you can receive. You cannot be giving without expectation and be hoarding at the same time.
Never give up. Never stop trying. It’s like breathing—once you quit, your flame dies letting total darkness extinguish every last gasp of hope. You can’t do that. You must continue taking in even the shallowest of breaths, continue putting forth even the smallest of efforts to sustain your dreams. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up. It is not given to us to know what difference we can make, and maybe we can make no difference at all. But that is no reason not to make the attempt. Remember, the light shines more brightly in the darkness.
Expectations take time. They take emotional energy.
Negative expectations yield negative results; positive expectations yield negative resultsThat’s not to say we shouldn’t have goals or expectations. Goals are good and expectations have their benefits. Expectations can inspire us to work hard to make those expectations more closely aligned with reality. By definition a “goal” is “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed” and “expectation” is “the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.” We can have goals without expectations and have expectations without goals. The former will motivate us. The latter will disappoint us. By putting effort into achieving goals we are working toward a specific outcome. With expectations, we are hoping for a specific outcome. Hope is not typically a successful strategy. It takes effort and belief to persevere and stay dedicated to accomplish your goal. When you find yourself doubting whether the effort is worth it, visualize how you will feel and what you will have once your goal is completed.
Live your life the way you want, and do what makes you happy, and make efforts for your loved ones without actually expecting anything in return, because honestly, if they really are your loved ones, then they’re acknowledging it all, they don’t always have to show it, and it’s a fact that they genuinely love and respect you too, because you deserve it, the fact that you exist in their lives. So be giving, be thankful and be nice. Don’t think so much, don’t expect.
‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ – Alexander Pope
Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth “You owe me.”
Look at what happens with a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.
Stepping into a new world, a new city, and a new life. It carries with it, a bag full of adventures, stories, people, experiences, ups and downs! Your life is what you make for yourself, you’re the creator and you’re yourself the destroyer. There are a lot of setbacks. Yet, you do what you want to do. You take your own decisions and you try your best to do justice to all that you’ve planned for yourself. Even if it involves moving out of your comfort zone and starting a new life in a whole new environment. It takes time to settle down, but once you’re even a step closer, you automatically start feeling motivated to keep moving until you’re where you need to be! A person shifting from one city to another city or one country to another, there will always be certain barriers for you to tackle, and a lot of adjustments to make. Adapting to the style of living, language, habits, dressing, food etc. It’s not compulsory, you can do your own thing anyway, but there’s no harm in trying it all out if you’ve planned to stay out of your comfort zone. The whole point of doing that is that you learn so much, you not only do different things, but you also learn how to do certain things differently. You get to know so much about yourself as a person, you get to know your goods and bads, where all you can improve yourself, and basically just focusing on being happy in the end. I think at the back of our minds, we all just want to be better than before. You’re starting afresh, so you’re bound to meet new people and get to know them. Yes it’s scary, leaving the ones you’ve been with for the longest time and going someplace else for x y z reasons… But it’s worth it, and something everyone needs in their life. Something new. Something different. Not everyone in this world is open to changes, or okay with the idea of living away from their loved ones. Believe me, you’re just gone temporarily. Just enjoy your time away from everything and everyone for a short period of time.
And you’re lucky if you know someone who stays in the same city or at least nearby, it could be a friend, an acquaintance or a relative. You can reach out to this person whenever you’d like and score a tip or two to know about your surroundings in a much better way; someone to take you around, and then maybe you can get introduced to your friend’s friends and hang out more. Try and build this chain as well as you can, it’s a better option than choosing to stay by yourself or waiting for someone to make an effort with you.
Leaving behind your friends, family and a million memories is difficult, not being able to see your favourite people and things that often anymore, or walking around in your favourite park might not be possible either, or picking up your friend at an odd time just because you felt like having an ice cream… but if you want, you can try and rebuild all of that in the new city, it won’t be the same but at least you won’t feel lonely, because that is the worst feeling ever.
“Great things never came from comfort zones”
Adjusting takes time, yes. Here’s a list of things you can take down in your head, so as to make your shifting and adjusting to a new place slightly easier.
Treat it as an adventure
Living in a new place is a great opportunity to experience new things and to grow as a person. So stay positive, and get out there and explore! Try out their local cuisine. Visit the local market, parks and museums, and forts and palaces. Try local activities that weren’t available or popular in your former city. You may just end up discovering a talent or interest you never knew you had.
Introduce yourself to neighbours and everyone else you meet. Tell them you are new in town. This is one way of getting to know more about your surroundings and places to visit. Or if you’re an unsocial person, then I’d suggest you hire a taxi and explore the city all by yourself, trust me it can be fun alone too! Make sure your phone has enough battery though.
Attend local events that interest you. Exhibitions, a musical fountain show, a performance by a band formed by school/college students outside a mall, or anything else that catches your eye! All of these things will help you meet people and feel connected to your new town. And again, if you count yourself as someone who wouldn’t voluntarily want to get involved in such events, that includes meeting new people, then let Google help you out and take you places.
Locate the necessities
Driving, or walking around your new neighbourhood is the best way to learn where everything is. So head out and take note of the nearest supermarket, pharmacy, salon etc.
Find what you love
You don’t have to give up your hobbies and interests just because you are in a new place. Seek out the things you’ve always enjoyed. If you love listening to live music, hunt for a local rock or jazz club. If you enjoy art, search for galleries. Websites like citysearch.com and yelp.com are great places to look, as are local newspapers and websites.
A fresh move is also a fresh start. It is therefore a great time to fulfil a dream you’ve had, or at least work towards making it come true one day. You’re also going to meet various kinds of people, so don’t limit yourself to the ones who are similar to the people in your previous city, instead try being with different people and see if you like it, you might just learn something totally new from them, and sooner or later find yourself adapting to their kind of lifestyle. You don’t have to be like them, you’re only trying to reinvent yourself.
It’s not as tough as it sounds, but if you’re making a big move like this, then you’ve also got to tell yourself to be a little more open to changes, a lot of changes. And it can be fun, if you allow it. Moving to a new home, bringing in with you your belongings that would make you feel less homesick, redoing your room, painting it the colour that makes you feel happy and positive and putting up picture frames of the things that inspire you the most and people you love the most! Go exploring all by yourself and take the risk of getting lost, you’ll truly grow as a person, and probably become more independent and careful.
Just because you’re moving to a new city or country does not mean you change the core of who you are, and what you want to do, and the way you interact with friends, family and people you meet.
Happy living! 🙂
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”