“If you put in little effort and expect big returns, you will be deeply disappointed. You don’t get apples by planting lemon seeds.”
I think most of us invest majority of our time in making efforts for the people who mean something to us, but at the same time, we also expect them to make similar efforts for us too. And honestly speaking, there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has certain kind of expectations, only because they have this belief that whatever they have done for others, they will definitely do the same too, at some point of time. But it’s also a fact that our disappointment, irritation, anger, sadness most often arise because others didn’t respond to us in the way we imagined they would, so rather than looking down and focusing on ourselves, we’re always looking ahead and at others. And that’s what gets us into emotional trouble. Right?
When it comes to the simple act of giving, motives and mindset really matter. Many of us are unconsciously so self-centred that everything we do, even within our closest relationships, is actually bartering rather than unconditional giving. We all realize that giving on any level feels really good, but internally all forms of giving are not created equally. This is where motive comes in. When we give with the expectation of receiving something in return, we are not really giving with a pure motive. But when we give from a generous heart, the joy of giving becomes its own reward.
When you give generously, it opens up your heart to an enhanced sense of peace, love and joy. Because your motive is pure, your heart is free to experience giving at the highest level. This is an empowering mindset that fuels both giving and receiving because there is no resistance involved. But when you do something for someone out of high expectations, the end result is often disappointing. You put limits on the ways that you can receive. You cannot be giving without expectation and be hoarding at the same time.
Never give up. Never stop trying. It’s like breathing—once you quit, your flame dies letting total darkness extinguish every last gasp of hope. You can’t do that. You must continue taking in even the shallowest of breaths, continue putting forth even the smallest of efforts to sustain your dreams. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up. It is not given to us to know what difference we can make, and maybe we can make no difference at all. But that is no reason not to make the attempt. Remember, the light shines more brightly in the darkness.
Expectations take time. They take emotional energy.
Negative expectations yield negative results; positive expectations yield negative resultsThat’s not to say we shouldn’t have goals or expectations. Goals are good and expectations have their benefits. Expectations can inspire us to work hard to make those expectations more closely aligned with reality. By definition a “goal” is “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed” and “expectation” is “the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.” We can have goals without expectations and have expectations without goals. The former will motivate us. The latter will disappoint us. By putting effort into achieving goals we are working toward a specific outcome. With expectations, we are hoping for a specific outcome. Hope is not typically a successful strategy. It takes effort and belief to persevere and stay dedicated to accomplish your goal. When you find yourself doubting whether the effort is worth it, visualize how you will feel and what you will have once your goal is completed.
Live your life the way you want, and do what makes you happy, and make efforts for your loved ones without actually expecting anything in return, because honestly, if they really are your loved ones, then they’re acknowledging it all, they don’t always have to show it, and it’s a fact that they genuinely love and respect you too, because you deserve it, the fact that you exist in their lives. So be giving, be thankful and be nice. Don’t think so much, don’t expect.
‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ – Alexander Pope
Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth “You owe me.”
Look at what happens with a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.