Acceptance > Expectation + Tolerance

Sometimes in life, you end up doing something that you never planned on doing. You never meant it, you could never even think of it ever; you know your intentions the best, but sometimes, the consequences of your actions can lead to misery. You find yourself in a situation that leaves you with no words, nothing. More than you trying to justify your intent, it’s the person who’s been affected by your words or actions, that needs to be taken care of. Proving yourself right always, can lead to more problems, especially in a situation like this, make sure you accept what you did, even if that wasn’t your intention, instead of being defensive. If the other person was hurt by something you did, you should first make sure he/she is alright (with you) and then go on to talk about it. You’d never hesitate in taking a step back if that person means something to you. If you really love that person, be it your best friend, family member, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, you would leave your ego behind and make up for it. Sometimes, in life, you have to face situations when saying “sorry” first will only prove the kind of person you are, even if you aren’t completely responsible. Relationships need to be taken care of, and not taken for granted. Just because he/she loves you, does not mean you have the power to do and say whatever you want, thinking that either way, they will love you and be there for you. At times, the wound is so deep, that it takes time to heal, and once it’s healed, there is always a possibility that he/she would be even more careful than before, or in some cases, not care at all.

Most of the times, we make a mistake and then regret later. We wish we could just rewind back into time and correct our mistakes, say the right thing, do something a certain way, and mend the whole situation. But that does not really happen in real life. You know, going back in time. It only happens in movies and cartoons, so we’ve just got to step down and handle this as maturely as possible. The best part about acceptance is that you get to learn a lot. You get to know where you stand, and you get an opportunity to become a better person. All you’ve got to do is, change your attitude, be a little more positive and make sure that your intentions are transparent, and not opaque!

The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it. It is okay to make mistakes, but it is very important to learn from them, so that the next time, you are at least aware. You only hurt the ones who love you the most. So stand up for yourself when it is necessary, but also accept things faster.

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. And once, you gather enough courage to admit what you did, half the problem is solved. Recently, I had read a line somewhere that “a glass once broken cannot be joined back”. But I wouldn’t ever compare this to a heart. Because if two people share a strong bond, and there is genuine love, they will always find a way out and get back to how they were.  Eventually, all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason. It is probably just a phase in your life. Let it pass.

A lot of the time we ask ourselves why certain things have to happen to us, or maybe why things have to happen to other people. Sometimes we sit around wishing things would happen, but we don’t put in enough effort. Sometimes we do everything in our power to make things happen, but they still don’t, and it frustrates us. Everything will fall into place, if you let it. This doesn’t mean we will sit around waiting for every good thing to happen to us. We need to put in at least some effort and stay positive for good outcomes. We need to keep hope and faith alive. We need to believe in ourselves and believe in others. We need to learn how to love ourselves before we can love others. We need to serve others. We need to be true to ourselves and learn how to trust others. We need to have faith in God, that he is there for us every step of the way and know that he is leading us on a path that will help us grow and learn. If there is anything that causes fear or doubt, pray. When you don’t feel like praying is when you need it the most.

Don’t be opaque.




  1. Midhuna · April 17, 2015

    Good perspective. But if I am the other person, what can I do? One of my friends is ignoring me and I don’t think it is deliberate(may be, busy with work).Still, I feel hurt and rejected.


  2. tanyakochar · April 21, 2015

    Hi, you know it’s alright to feel that way. When someone so close to you treats you like that, intentionally, maybe unintentionally, you’ve just got to be as strong as possible. If your friendship is real, and if you believe in it, in him/her, nothing can go wrong. And trust me, if you think he/she is ignoring you, then do something about it, instead of thinking too much. Try and get your friend to talk to you. Make that effort. Talking it out always helps. Maybe your friend has something going on, on his/her mind, and sometimes it reflects on their attitude and behavior. I’m sure it’ll be alright again, Good luck 🙂


  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts
    and I will be waiting for your next write ups thanks once again.


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