In the moment.

How many times in your life do you say something and regret it later? I’m guessing a lot of times.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have said that”

“Maybe I should have said it in a better way”

“I wish I’d said this too”

“Why did I even open my mouth?”

“What will he think of me now? Oh no, what did I do” *facepalm*

“I’m such a fool.  God, kill me.”

Etc..

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We regret so much. We regret all the time.

And you know, it doesn’t mean you’re unsure about yourself, of what you say or do, it’s just that nothing or no one in this world is perfect. And you can’t always get yourself to be right. The situation matters, and so does the timing. And whatever happens, happens in the moment.

Sometimes, when you’re having a fight with your parents, they say things to you in the heat of the moment, might be sounding really harsh, but if you really sit and think about it once you’ve cooled down, they were only just trying to get you to realize where you were going wrong. What happens is, you don’t realize it then, but you realize it later. Realizing something is the first step, whereas adapting, organizing, executing and finally implying are the next few steps which need to be followed.

Here are a few ways to deal with regret, that’ll help you in moving on:

-Identify and address your weaknesses

-use your mistake as a teaching tool

-use the opportunity to become better at adapting

-strengthen your ability to focus on things you can control

-embrace impermanence

-evaluate your relationships

-get better at accepting blame

-challenge your thinking

Most of the times, when you take a decision and decide to go with it, many things might fall apart, and many might fall back in place. We don’t know what’s going to happen. We just go with the flow and do what we want to, in that particular moment. Now whatever happens in the future is something that you can’t help. You made your decision back then, hence the consequence. Good or bad, you never thought about that. You said and did, what you thought was right and you went with it.

Learning: It’s not like you didn’t use your brain back then, and decided on something in a rush. No. you were just spontaneous, and trust me, spontaneity is always appreciated. You can’t be perfect all the time, and say and do the right things always. Till you don’t fall, you’ll never know your faults. And if you’ll never know your faults, you’ll always live in denial. And living in denial is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself, let alone your loved ones.

You can only learn from your own experiences. You might spend hours and hours sitting with a middle-aged person and listen to his stories, etc. He might even give you an advice or two to help you out in your life. He might share his own life experiences with you, so that you can learn from them and be careful. But his life and your life are way different. Your way of looking at things isn’t probably the same.

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Obviously, who even wants to live in regret. But even if you do end up regretting something, tell yourself to never look back again. Never ever. Because what’s been said, its been said. Whats been done, is done. You cant be superman and take circles around the world thinking you’d be able to rewind back into time and make things okay and correct your mistakes. You’ve got to be practical. You’ve got to accept things. You’ve got to accept who you are. Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets. Looking back, of course, it’s irresponsible, mad, forlorn, idiotic, but if you don’t take chances then you’ll never have a winning hand, and hence, no regrets.

Here is a list of things you can do to practice living life with no regrets:

  1. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them, forgive yourself, and move on.
  2. Make your health and wellness a top priority and always take care of yourself so you’re ready to take care of others.
  3. Follow your own path, not one that others want you to follow.
  4. Find the humor in life and laugh like there is no tomorrow.
  5. Relax and move with the flow of life by being unafraid of change.
  6. Be adventurous by trying new things and taking more risks.
  7. Have more intellectual curiosity and embrace creativity.
  8. Try to find happiness with as many different people as you can.
  9. Think for yourself instead of letting other people’s opinions influence you too much.
  10. Try not to judge people before you get to know them.
  11. Be thankful for what you have now instead of thinking about what you don’t have.
  12. Wish well upon everyone equally and try to admire without envy.
  13. Share your happiness with others instead of hoarding it all for yourself.
  14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now.
  15. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
  16. Know that happiness is bigger than any bank account.
  17. Control negative thoughts so that they don’t contribute to the outcome of your life.
  18. Use your energy wisely because spending energy complaining, worrying, or being impatient is just wasted energy.
  19. Be bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed.

20.Love your work. If you don’t currently love what you do, figure out what you would love and take the first step toward that life.

  1. Turn your discontent into a mysteryand enjoy trying to solve it.
  2. Face problems from different anglesin order to find solutions.
  3. Gain independenceby realizing that on this earth we are all dependent upon each other.
  4. Change your perspectiveby taking on a wider view of things.
  5. Don’t waste timetrying to bring disagreeable people around to liking you.
  6. Become the personyou would like to spend the rest of your life with.
  7. Be honest with yourselfand others by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
  8. Treat people with respectand compassion.
  9. Live in the nowby loving the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions. Think happy thoughts and speak powerful words.
  10. Try not to put things offuntil later.
  11. Never hold grudges.
  12. Face your fears head onand try to do the things that you think you cannot do.
  13. Spend time with people who make you happywhile also not depending on other people for your own happiness.
  14. Stand up for yourselfand others and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back.
  15. Be yourselfand love who you are now.
  16. Be a participant in liferather than an observer.
  17. Do the things that you love to doas much as you can.
  18. Write out a list of goalsand achieve them by doing them step by step. Don’t give up when things get difficult.
  19. Do something every day that makes you feel proud of yourself—commit random acts of kindness whenever you get the chance.
  20. And always keep on moving forward.

I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the road that I have the most passion on because then you can never really blame yourself for making the wrong choices. You can always say you’re following your passion.

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If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

-TanyaSinghKochar

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One comment

  1. JP Singh · January 13, 2015

    Wonderful and very inspiring. Keep up the good work 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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